Bebili

........MALA ZAPAŽANJA MALOG ČOVEKA - VELIKI LJUDI SE BAVE NEČIM DRUGIM......

Koliko košta tuga....

bebili | 27 Jul, 2009 12:36

Ako ocekujete kukacki i srceparajuci tekst, odma zgasite stranicu.

Eto...što bi rekao Đorđe Balašević....moralo se i to jednom desiti...

Danas je smrt skupa.

Pri tome sad pričam bukvalno samo o novcima .

I običajima.

Kad smo se sabrali, stavku po stavku, ispade da ne možemo da je sahranimo bez jedno hiljadu eura. Nekako se nakupi taj novac i bili smo razumni u svemu.

Mi smo skromni ljudi, nismo baš vešti s parama, više smo vešti da volimo, poštujemo i pazimo za života. 

A stavki na popisu šta je za sahranu potrebno - ko telefonski imenik da sam prelistavala...

Velečasni 4500 dinara da dođe i održi misu...posle smo čuli da je pravoslavlje - još skuplje i to značajnih 30%...kako god, reč Božja u oba slučaja nije besplatna. Šteta - trebala bi biti!

Dalje....dušek, jastuk  i pokrivač (!?) osam i po 'iljada ...bog te molov'o, skoro kao da smo kupili komplet Dormeo...

S obzirom da do sahrane telo mora negde biti smeštena, u ovom slučaju mrtvačnica, noćenje se naplaćuje hiljadarka.

Došlo mi da vrištim i pitam da li je i doručak uračunat u cenu !!!

Sanduk 'tries 'iljada, komšinica koja ne izbiva dodaje: - Da se ne brukate sa nekim jeftinijim.

Ne mogu da se ne pitam zašto je nekim ljudima važno da sanduk bude baš onaj sa zlatnim ručicama, da čitulje izlaze na pola strane, da se za onog ko se rešio ovozemljske bede kupuje nova garderoba.

I to još birkaju boju....."lepo mu je stajalo zeleno"...

Pa neće da se šeta Knez Mihajlovom svako veče, majku mu !

A običaji, majko sveta... tu idiotlucima , s moje skromne tačke gledišta kraja nema...

"Stavite mu pare u ruke pred zatvaranje kovčega". Svašta, ko da će uz put da kupuje sladoled!

Pa dalje..."stavite u sanduk ono što je najviše voleo, češalj, ogledalce, naočare"...

Zaustih da pitam da li i četkica za zube dolazi u obizir ?

Mislim, ako već stavljamo češalj, valjda će i četkica za zube da posluzi nečemu.

"Prekrijte sva ogledala u kući" ...

Tu više ne izdržah i pitah komšinicu, očiglednu lokalnu savetnicu za sahrane, zasto se to radi.

Sledi odgovor koji se graniči sa dijagnozom..."da se ne uplaši ako šeta kroz kuću, pa vidi svoj odraz u ogledalu"...

Ko , bre, da se šeta kroz kuću i ko da se uplaši svog odraza u ogledalu ????

Moja tetka je  svakako je već negde na nekom oblaku, lagana kao perce, oslobođena svih zemaljskih idiotluka i ako ikako može da nas vidi , garantujem da vrti glavom s neodobravanjem.

Dodjem zbaldisala kući sinoć, s vrata se zaletim ,  ni  "dobro veče, ni pomaže Bog ", nego stanem ispred muža sa rukama na bokovima i kažem mu ovako:

- Nemoj da bi ti palo na pamet da mi, kad krepam, kupuješ neku garderobu za ukop, da daješ čitulje, i akcijašiš sva ova sranja koja prate capnjavanje .

Što se mene tiče, slobodno možeš da me spakujes u moj deo ormana, koji  ionako više neće biti od neke koristi , sumnjam da ćeš da nađeš posle mene snajku baš iste konstitucije da preuzme i moju garderobu i moj orman.

Čitulja nipošto! Ko treba da zna da sam odletela - znaće i bez čitulje.

Za ostale -  nek se iznenade naknadno. Neki  neprijatno , neki - prijatno.

Odradiš lepo kremaciju, daju ti moj prašak (najzad ću jednom dostići idealnu težinu ), 

kupi najobičniju urnu , nemoj da bi se isprsiv'o za tu prilicno beskorisnu kutiju,

ništa ne fali ni onoj od šecera, ple'anoj što mi ostala od one avangardne babe ,

zovi drustvo, najmi splav na vodi, mene pustite me da se brčkam u Savi,

a vi lepo , ko ljudi, sedite uz neke tamburice i vince, pa se malo zaćaskajte o nekim danima od pre i svima lepo.

Ja se brčkam i najzad idem da vidim malo sveta slivnim tokom Save,najzad bez vize,

vi se lagano ucvrckavate nekom kajsijevačom...

I nemoj da bi neko nosio nesto crno, užasavam se te boje.

Jedino crno što tolerišem je mala, crna haljina, a sumnjam da bi dobro stajala našem kumu Milanu , Saletu i Vukašinu. 

I pozovi taxi da te vrati kući, a  sutra dođi po  kola.

Ja posle ne mogu da te vozim kad ti cvrcneš, nemoj to da zaboraviš !!!

 

Komentari

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

rene | 27/07/2009, 14:52

Hahahaha....ovo je dobro...
Postoje starije zene koje idu samo od sahrane do sahrane i one su pravi "specijalisti" oko toga kako ta ceremonija treba da izgleda...Takozvani "mrtvozori"..
Na Zapadu postoje firme koje pruzaju komplet pogrebnih usluga.
Prosto nanjuse kada ce neko umreti i strpljivo cekaju na vratima svoj momenat.
Kazu da je bilo i oglasa po novinama u stilu: "Samo Vi umrite...Sve ostalo je nasa briga!"

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

casper | 27/07/2009, 17:45

Kako si ovo lepo napisala....
I ja isto porucih mojima kad mi doktorica rece da cu umreti za tri meseca.....

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

rene | 27/07/2009, 17:50

Draga CASPER, ne crtaj djavola na zidu!
Moze da ozivi!

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

mandrak72 | 27/07/2009, 20:24

Mi smo nepopravljivi. Važno je šta će svijet reći. Nismo bitni mi koji smo poznavali pokojnika, niti sam pokojnik. Važan je svijet.
Nažalost sve je istina.
pozdrav

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

ivananeda | 28/07/2009, 14:46

Zao mi je za tetku, a text je super i tako istinit

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

korakdovecnosti | 28/07/2009, 16:49

Slazem se sa svim prethodnim komentarima...
Cudnog sveta ima... [mislim na te komsinice]

Samo jadna tetka... Inace je text totalna istina.

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

mirvas | 29/07/2009, 17:18

Kakav si ti smeker...:)

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

Belka | 01/08/2009, 20:34

I meni je želja da završim kao prah koji bi moji dragi posadili u zemlju sa jednom malom brezom...

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

Plava Baklava | 02/08/2009, 10:30

Jos je dobro kako nekad bese :-(
Gledala sam nekad davno neki film u kom stari (valjda) Kinezi, kad osete da je kraj blizu, sakupe bliske, oproste se i odlaze u planine, da negde nadju svoj put u vecnost u miru i tisini.

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

djoje | 05/08/2009, 15:41

A najinteresantnije od svega je da svi ljudi koje ja poznajem uglavnom misle kao ja tj.kao ti Bebili draga i opet skoro niko nista ne menja, svi rade iste gluposti, cudni smo stvarno,.

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

Xe | 08/08/2009, 00:03

Ne daju, dusmani, ni da se kremiras kako hoces, nego da kupis njihove urne i mesto na groblju da te posade da venes medju mermerom, umesto da nahranis gladne ribice ili obradujes neku ruzu.
:(

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

ivana | 10/08/2009, 02:18

joj, znam da je grozno, ali slatko se nasmejah (verujem i tvoja tetka, sa nekog lepog oblaka)... samo sam pobesnela na popove, ali, to mi je vec uslovna reakcija.
pazi, kada nisam znala ni za te fancy kovchege, a ni za te obichaje vezane za 'licnu higijenu i razbibrigu', hahhahahaha, uzassss!!!
p.s. MRZIM umrlice, poshto i sama obozavam da ih chitam, pa ne bih volela da mene neko tamo 'ishitava'.
ne brini, draga, zivechesh ti 100 godina, necesh da se buckash tek tako po savi;).

Re: Koliko košta tuga....

dt | 06/12/2009, 00:05

E svaka tebi cast!!! bebili... Bas svaka!

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