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Odrobijala sam

bebili | 19 Decembar, 2009 00:33

Tacno u ponoc!

Gledala sam uzivo prenos kako izlazim iz zatvora. Istekla mi kazna. Ja  i jos 10 miliona zitelja ove zemlje - free!

Woooow!

Kolektivno pomilovanje.

Kad zamakne malo istorijski tocak, naslucujem da ce se utvrditi da smo bili nepravedno optuzeni.

Moja kazna je proslavila punoletstvo i vreme joj je da se osamostali.

Poznato je da smo mi nacija koja neguje bolestan kult dozivotnog zivljenja sa roditeljima.

Ne bas svi, ima i izuzetaka, ali nekako , mamina supa uvek najbolja.

Mislim se, zagledana u slike koje promicu na TV sta sve stane u osamnaest godina.

Pa stane sve - do mature.

Znaci jedno detinjstvo, jedan pubertet i jedan pocetak mladosti.

U nasoj zemlji ima dosta mladih koji nikad, ali nikad nisu izvadili pasos.

I razumem ih,sta ce ti jos jedna tanka svescica u fiJoci koju ne mozes  upotrebiti?!

Sta jos stane u 18 godina, ako iz zapocnes recimo u osamnaestoj, pa do trideset i seste?

Fakultet, jedan do dva braka, bar po jedno dete, zamah u karijeri kad udaras temelje svojoj smirenoj starosti.

Pa sad, kako je koga zapala ova robija...

Najgore su prosli oni sto su nekad bili na slobodi, pa ih, na pravdi Boga strpali u zatvor.

Oni se secaju vikenda u Trstu, putovanja s rancem kroz Evropu, odlazaka kod rodbine u Ameriku, Ameriku, zemlju veliku,  secaju se i stoje iza resetaka.

I tako 18 godina!

Ovi sto nisu upamtili slobodu, nego su se rodili u zatvoru, njima jos nekako dodje i normalno to sto nemaju pasos.

A i klepali ih hormoni i muka kako da namaknu pare za najnoviji model Air Max patika, kad jedna ta patika kosta kao cetvrtina caletove plate.

Postoji i ona mala, vrrrrlo mala kategorija koja nikad nije ni osetila ovu robiju.

Ko i u svakom zatvoru, najveca lopina uvek dobija neke pakete ispod ruke, pusi najbolje pljuge i moze da iseta iz buvare bez veceg napora,  ima sitne, a i krupne privilegije i jos joj se ostatak ekipe klanja.

I eto, sad smo se svi ove ponoci izjednacili i dobili mur na tur da mozemo taj isti tur da vucemo po belom svetu kako nam padne na pamet.

Nije da se ne radujem sto vise necu morati da visim u redu za vizu i da popunjavam formular u kome je nekako  uvek smesteno pitanje "Navedite precizan boroj  vasih eritrocita -  podatak ne sme biti stariji od 12 sati".

Nije da se ne radujem da cu da izbegnem  kozu  koja je "strani" placenik u nekoj ambasadi, a sitna dusa po vokaciji odredjenoj sopstevenom geografskom sirinom na kojoj dela, da me prezrivo pogleda kroz onu rupicu od saltera i kaze: " Niste sve popunili ", a onda nadobudno i bespotrebno  doda "Pa valjda ste toliko pismeni".

Ma pismena sam ja, sestro, nemas brigu, nego mi rad nogu bio spor u odnosu na tvoj.

Gde si ti to i kojom brzinom  razmakla stvarno me ne interesuje, al' ti to ne daje za pravo da glumis inkarnaciju Mesije! Mada mozes da probas, od tebe se to ocekuje.

Mora sitna dusa da podvuce razliku izmedju nje s one strane stakla i mene s ove strane stakla.

Secam se  svog povlacenja po jednoj stranoj ambasadi 2001 godine.

Pozvana sam u posetu od strane jednog naseg tadasnjeg diplomate, koji je poslao za mene garanciju ambasadoru te zemlje u Beograd.

Tog casa ja:

1. nemam posao ( bar ne upisan u radnu knjizicu)

2. imam crveni pasos, kome rok istice za 2 meseca

Verovatnoca da dobijem vizu za tu zemlju je manja nego da me pukne neki zalutali asteroid.

I stanem ja u red, sacekam da dodjem na salter, pruzim gospodjici svoju dokumentaciju, mirno, ona prebrka bezvoljno po njoj i baci mi je nazad sa pakosnim izrazom i obrati mi se glasom zapovednika konc logora :

- Vama nista od prilozene dokumentacije nije validno, a nemate ni pozivno pismo.

Ja smireno i tiho kazem:

- Sigurni ste u to?

- Ne budite bezobrazni i vratite se kad dobijete pozivno pismo.

- Moje pozivno pismo je kod vas.

Koza me gleda, gricne svoj crveni, dugacki nokat, pljucne visak , pa zlobno kaze:

- Sigurna sam!

Na to ja i dalje nestvarno mirnim glasom kazem:

-Ako biste bili ljubazni da prosetate do stola "vaseg" ambasadora , nacicete moje pozivno pismo na njemu. Stiglo je iz naseg konzulata. Ukoliko vas mrzi da to uradite, budite ljubazni i najavite me kod ambasadora, rado cu ga podici sama, da vas ne deranziram.

Bilo je zalosno gledati njenu transformaciju.

Za minut je izgledala kao balon od helijuma koji si naduvao u oktobru, a sad je januar. 

Kako god, sad vise ne moramo da strahujemo ni od njihovih, ni od nasih ( mada su me nasi uvek vise plasili).

Sad slobodno mozemo da turimo nasu biometriju u dzep i odemo.

Jos nekako ne mogu da se radujem.

Za trideseti rodjendan sam htela da budem u Becu.

Za cetrdeseti u Rimu.

Oba rodjendana su prosla. Zauvek!

Ovaj koji ide, 44. cu, kako za sad stoje stvari proslaviti na Gran Canarima. Karta mi je u dzepu.

Nije to lose, ali  kad krenem da se sabiram, nesto mi je onaj vatromet u ponoc bio malko kiselkast.

Kao kiselo grozdje!

A mozda su kruske zrele, samo sam ja pala pre vremena!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Komentari

Re: Odrobijala sam

suky | 19/12/2009, 09:28

jeste, jeste tako je...
;)))

Ivana

Ivana | 19/12/2009, 12:14

Poznat mi je taj osecaj. Dobro poznat gorak ukus nepovratno propustenog. Nadam se da bar naredne generacije nece to morati da iskuse.
I srecan put!

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